U.S. Government Confirms: There Are No Mermaids

Are you as sad as I am about this news?


Sorry, Ariel, looks like you’ll never be part of our world.

The U.S. National Ocean Service (NOS) made the firm announcement that mermaids do not exist. This announcement came in response to public inquiries into the NOS’ mermaid science program after a show about mythical creatures on the channel Animal Planet.

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the NOS’s press release read, dispelling any rumors that “those half-human, half-fish sirens of the sea” are anything more than legend and the stuff of Disney movies.

Mermaids: the Body Found was part of Animal Planet’s monster week and is described on the website as “science fiction based on some real events and scientific theory.”

(MORE: Hipster Ariel Meme Was On Tumblr Before You Were)

Apparently, the underwater world depicted in the show seemed so real that many watching it thought it was a documentary.  This…

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